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And I Wish I Never Met Her: Valentines, Heartbreak & Beats For Lovers

Updated: Feb 15

Back when Cash Money was taking over for the 99 and the 2000 I was in love with a girl at my rival high school. We met on AIM. Yes, I'm old, and you can call me Unc when you see me. AIM stood for AOL Instant Messenger and any kid back then with a computer and dial up internet was in chat rooms asking people what their age, sex, and location was, or ASL, for short. The internet hadn't been completely overrun by the human traffickers and the term catfish hadn't been coined yet. It was dangerous but my peers and I did it and lived to tell the tale. It was a virtual wild Wild West, and we had to meet in person to see if we were being lied to about our appearance. After a couple of months chatting and being on the phone it was time for us to meet. I didn't have a car yet so one Saturday my pops drove me over to meet this stranger. He was an involved parent and wanted to meet the family of this young lady that had all of my attention. Imagine the awkwardness and embarrassment of all of us meeting for the first time at the same time. It was her mother, stepfather, grandmother, and sister entertaining us weirdos coming from the other side of Ft Jackson. My dad dressed head to toe in his finest outfit from Sam's Club; I was more than likely wearing a Ralph Lauren, Chaps (Coulda Had A Polo Shirt), jean shorts, and either some Sauconys or Wallabees, trying to be smooth with my Dad in the background saying stuff like "My son and yo dawehder got this thang goin own. Now I think it's puppy love, but they think it's full grown."

I went through the 90s due process of having a girlfriend at another high school. Guys in high school were notorious for lying about dating a girl at another school, so it had to be validated as soon as it was known you were "Talking to" somebody. You were going to be asked the person's name, school and what grade they were in. You had no idea how anyone was going to verify it, but you knew the process was complete when you were on the phone with your boo and she mentioned someone asking about you at lunch or in between classes. Not having a car, living in the country, and having a girlfriend across town mostly meant we were perpetually on the phone. My country and frugal father was not paying extra money for a cordless phone, so we had a phone cord that was 10 miles long. I could've walked to the corner store and still been on the phone with a cord that long. Let's call it a cord-full phone.

I don't remember how long we were "talking" to each other but the PAIN I felt when she told me her ex came to visit her and they made out. I felt lower than a bow-legged caterpillar. I was crushed! I went to school that next day extra fragile and on the brink of tears the entire day. I couldn't even enjoy my Fruitopia at lunch. I could barley concentrate during the game of spades in the back of English class. I got cheated on and she broke up with me. It was double dose of kung fu treachery but we remained friends. If I wasn't already a sad boy that was the beginning of the phase, and honestly, I don't know if I stopped being a sad boy after that. Any song that had some man sad and singing the "baby don't go, don't leave me" was my anthem and I would be in my room in the dark singing it with my entire chest, feeling like I wrote the song myself. I wish I could say that I had self respect and went quietly into the night, but no. At least once a week I would beg for her to take me back. Keith Sweat and I were good friends and neighbors needless to say.I'm not proud of all the begging I did but I was a teenager **shrugs**.

In the 90s when you were dealing with love, unrequited love, or romantic betrayal, there was legendary RnB right there to sooth you. As we merged into the new Millennium a new artist named Carl Thomas released his first solo album with his lead single "I Wish I Never Met Her". I don't think I've ever learned the words to a song sooner and as toxic as that song was (It's about a man upset over the woman he's secretly dating choosing her husband and family over him) I had it on repeat for months. If you are ever lucky enough to catch me singing Karaoke this is always my first choice.

"She chose to stay at home so they could be a family, for the children. But Whhaaaatttt Abooooouuuuuut Meeeeeeeee??????!!!!"

I hope this Valentine’s Day finds you in good spirits no matter what your relationship status is, but I hope your person doesn't belong to anyone else. Don't be like Carl Thomas.

Today is Singles Awareness Day for me since I'm not dating anyone. Once I finish some work and chores I'm going to do some enjoyable things and listen to good music no matter where the journey takes me tomorrow. Here is some music for you to vibe to. Enjoy!

Click Here For Album

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