Transformed By The Renewal

When I made my first beat the summer of 1997 there was a fearlessness and strong feeling of necessity. It was like I was posessed and in my mind looping this record (Strawberry Letter 23 by Brothers Johnson) was the most important thing in the world. In fact, humanity was depending on me to loop this record over and over again on the first blank cassette tape I could find. As time presses on, adult responsibility and perceived expectation can be a real hurdle when it comes to creating.

Recently I sat down to make music with no clear destination. Just an instrumental, a sketch for a purpose yet to be revealed. That’s how I try to work—fluid, open, allowing the process to shift with my mood instead of forcing an outcome. This time, I locked into a tempo first. The drums came together naturally, a loop that felt steady and alive. Once it was finished, I started adjusting volumes, listening closely, and that’s when the noise crept in.

Not the good kind.

Thoughts started stacking up: It needs to be sample free. I wish I was a better piano player. Will people like it if it doesn’t sound familiar? The questions didn’t ask for answers—they demanded permission to stall me. For a moment, creativity tightened. The loop played, but I felt frozen, unsure of the next step.

That’s when I had to pause and pray. To affirm myself. To remind myself that creativity doesn’t come from fear, comparison, or prediction—it comes from presence and confident curiosity. I had to be transformed by the renewal of my mind, actively choosing to replace anxious thoughts with truth: I don’t have to impress. I don’t have to sound like anything else. I just have to be honest.

This ten-minute demo, Transformed By The Renewal, isn’t about perfection or resolution—it’s a marker in time. A moment where I chose presence over pressure, faith over fear. My hope and my prayer for this year is simple but intentional: that I stay grounded in every moment, fully aware, fully thankful, and open to what’s unfolding in real time. I don’t want anxiety to rob me of the richness I know God has already lined up for me—the ideas, the connections, the quiet victories, and the unseen growth. If this demo captures anything, I hope it’s that choice: to renew my mind, trust the process, and keep moving forward with purpose.